Today's
Note To Self Lol: Do Not Rush Exercise, Yeah It Feels Good To Work Out
And You May Want To Keep Going...But Damn That Dizzy Rush (Almost Orgasm
Related) Gets Too Intense...Where I Just Want To Pause And Breathe
Alot!...And Drink Alot Lol...And Take Off My Shirt! Lol...Its Like
Intense... On The Border Of Passing Out (Not Too Hard of a Work Out
Too!) But Yeah......Now I Feel Some Throat Chakra Pressure
Orgasmness...
Oh And Another Note: It Feels Somewhat Detox Related Also...The Moments During The Pre Barfs...(Note: Past Kundalini Research Has a Detox Stage Of Purging Lol... Kundalini Could Be Used Broadly-Chakra Stuffs)....
But Kundalini Peak Wise..Yeah That Was My Last Puke Detox.. (Releasing
The Toxin BuildUps Continues With The Raw Plant Foods, Organic-Thats
Non BugSprayed/ Or Genetically Modified lol Is a Must Go If You Can
afford It Lol Garden! Imagine If we All had Them all Around! We Wouldnt
Hear Of Starvation..Society Upgrade To That Through The Years Lol Hey
Its A Solution For Many THings..! Haha)
I Was Water Fasting, Wearing A Really Thin Vest (My Brothers 99 Cent Store Pirate Halloween One, REALLY Thin "Not Even a Shirt" XD My Slang Lol Reflected).. and Boxer Shorts Even Though It Was Damn Cold Outside Lol, (David Wolfe's All About Building Up Nerve Resistance Jumping In Ice Cold Water in Greenland Lol..And I Breathe MUCh Better When Cold, He Doesnt Use Blankets, I Should Switch To Sheets Like The Voice Had Suggested..Blanket On Chest=Harder To Breathe!)
Deep Breath All Day, Spirulina Under Tongue (A Blood Purifiyer)..And It Was During My Acute Psychosis (LONGGG Story Short) Before My Heart Lesson I Got Tricked Into Eating Bad Food, But They Promised Me a Powerful Detox..And I Sure As Hell Got One Lol... Had an Ego Death.. I Felt Like a Baby Again, Understood Just Being At Another Level, Wobbely Legs, Crying To Laughing To Crying (Mostly Good Cries Lol I Didnt Like When My mom Said She Was Gonna Take Me Back To the Hospital.. Read My Other Waterfast Detox Experience..Went 3 Weeks On Water And Yeah I Wrote about My Oberservations/10 Day Hospital Experience...
Back Last November, I water fasted for 3 weeks to Detox Faster.. Many things happened during this time.. I got introduced to my guide, the main one :) (The Psychic Told Me They Switch in And Out And Now Im Able Too Feel The Difference And See Them Flash Up And Different Voice/The Sometimes Stated Names…Had To Develop Lol The Internet Confirmed The in And Out And Also Said You Could Have a Couple Main Ones But Usually Only One..Thats There To Guide You Since The Day You Were Born Till Death.)
((John was My Dad’s Baby Brother that Died at 24 Hours into His Life- Which is Interesting Because Later During Psychosis I Finally Told My Grandpa About Him…And He Gave me The Background Story.. He said When He Died, He prayed To God and asked Why he had to take his son.. And Later That Night, he had a Dream Giving Him The Answer- That He had a Job to do on the Other Side-I Fuckin Trippedddd!!!!!..Haha))
During My Fast I Did A lot Of InnerVoicing Lol (Wanted Them To Keep Growing Louder…Since I Was in Elementary But Didn’t Quite Figure Out How Yet.. -Wrote You More About That on FB Lol)
One Day I was at my
PC and the Inner voice told me to lay down lol so I turned off my lights
and layed down on my bed….(Layed on My Back To Make Sure My Soine Was
Straight And Turned Off The Lights Because I Thought My Dilated Pupils
Would Increase The Odds Of Seeing Things Haha XD) Speeding The First
Few Minutes Up…I Heard (My First) External Voice.. Say the Words “I Love
You” ..It was Really loud!... Like it was right next to me (lol at like
2 in the morning) It sounded like a Males voice. I thought it was so
nice! I said “I Love you too! But who are you?!” .. “John” then it started to bad mouth me then i heard "there are dark parts to yourself that you would not understand dont touch it"
((A long time ago Bree’s Mom did a Reki Healing on me..and while she was doing that she said she kept Hearing the word “John” Pop up..and “Henry”….I had a feeling that this wasn’t my brother.. and that it might be my spirit guides-))
During this water fast I had many vivid dreams… In one of them I saw a scenery. Starting Up High in An orange sky, below were orange tree tops.. It was Beautiful… First Person view, directly ahead… there was a Dragon in front of me.. Red, the Chinese kind.. except it didn’t have horns.. It was more like a flying serpent… He was there in the center of my view.. coiled up.. Quite Evenly Lol.. staring at me…floating. Yet not moving.. perfectly still.. Until he decides to fly straight at me!! Oh so fast lolol I thought he was soooo cool! When I was little I would always draw dragons alot ahaha…And Reds my Favorite color!! (and Green lol..)
I asked who he was and He said “John” annnd im like OMGOMG SOO COOOL! Ahahhaha XD I asked if I could touch him and he was like of course annnnd he felt SO FUCKING SOFT! Silky…. Then I asked him..wait ”Whos Henry?” and he was like “Oh that? I have many names.” Lolol I asked if I coud ride hime and I was like honored that he ‘answered right away’ ( Ill tell the next part to you in person :) Twist in scenery ;) lol I don’t want to wander too far from the reason why I chose this song lmaoo XD)
Sooo yeahhhh
When I was fasting I got the Tarot saying something like The Rainbows Will Come But First Comes Rain It also Included Something about a Pot of Gold lol.. I kept the fast going because I didn’t want to miss any opportunities… (Cappy Influenced) I was eating a lot of Junk Food before this, Which Is Why I Started One (I Put Off Eating Healthy For A While-But Once I Did OMG SO MUCH MORE PROGESS!) But During This Time I Worried.. Like I Felt Pressure Of Needing To Keep It Up Because I wanted to be clean enough “in time” lol… I didn’t know the Inner Voice was Subconscious And Didn’t Know How To Tune It… I was Very Fearful, that if I Ate- I would end up regretting it.. As if it would be “too soon”…(They Kep Saying It ill Come Soon, A Little Longer..(Reflecting Me)..And When I Would Wanna Eat-Go Ahead Eat Something.. But I Twisted That Up For Testing Me Lol) I thought I had to work hard in such a Hard way… ((My work now has to do with the things that I love…following my highest heart.. and balance… head in the clouds with my feet on the ground. Balance Fun With Self Discipline Lol Work Can Be Fun Heheheh))
My parents thought 3 weeks was too long and they forced me to go to the Hospital ((Right before that, Bree showed me this I Ching (Like Tarot) Thing Online And It Said something That I Thought Wasn’t As Accurate As They Usually Are….I Cant Remember The Exact Wording But U Saw What It Meant When I Was Cornered and Picked up by my Dad…I was soo mad! I almost hit him! Lol.. Untill I remembered the Tarots advice Aha Something Like.. Well I Remembered Interpreting it in This Way: Try Your Best To Restrain your anger, Let things happen -But in other words! XD …So I Let Being Taken To The Hospital Happen And on The Way There I Saw a Rainbow….
I Didn’t Feel Sick Until they hooked me up to an IV for the first time… It made me feel so weak…And I started getting fucking Double Vision!!! They hooked me up to 2 bags…when the second one started flowing IT FUCKING STUNG SO BADD! They said that was normal and that it would go away…but it didn’t! So they had to lower the speed…and it still fucking hurt! I ended up almost passing out…It was the worst pain that I ever felt… they had to lower it again… it hurts for the first 5 minutes…
Then when the new doc switched the bag I made sure to tell him that they had it on a slower speed and hes like allright, but they switched the machine…..annnd WORST PAIN EVERRRRRR AAGAIN! (Not even Exaggerating..Im Serious… aha)
He was surprised that he had to lower it because “that was really slow” and I almost passed out again… …I remember staring at the faces of those standing around me.. their faces were glowing extremely bright white!!!! It looked really cool lolol :)….
First they were like- eat this organic banana (given by a nurse from her own lunch lol) and we'll let you go…in other words lol.."with a probably intention" aha...i nibbled on it but i was still skeptical...as if it wasnt organic cause it tasted weird lol..i Stopped When they said i wasnt going home until my blood work results come in.. Then later they forced me to drink apple juice because my blood sugar was a little bit low (in the 70s-Its Been Lower When I Wasn’t Fasting Lol- I Was Never Diagnosed Hypoglycemic BTW ((But A Youtuber Who’s Getting Big Now Cured Hers By Going Raw Organic Vegan Anyways Hahah))… Back To The Apple Juice: They wouldn’t let me see the label D:< He tried to persuade me that it was a good brand that he would let his own son drink it lol….Which Didn’t Work But I Still sipped it…lol Becausee I REALLY WANTED TO GO HOME! Ahahah
Hospitals Are Really Unorganized… About 10 minutes later A Lady Came in And said: Ohh your not supposed to be letting her eat or drink anything…(Many Times Throughout I Had The Impression That They Don’t Know What Theyre Doing Lol)
They had to switch me over to another hospital…First Ambulance Ride… I had to stay longer than I expected… I felt ok As long as I was drinking water…. but they didn’t let me do that for the first 3 days! Or Eat! ..They Accepted Ice Though.. Does That Make Sense? Ice Turns To Water What if I Let It Melt? XD Hahah I Didn’t Trust Their Water Filter Though…I Was Like Wtf Im in There For a Fast And They Wont Let Me Eat How Ironic XD… It was fucking horrible… I slept most of the day (They Held That Against Me Later lol)…. They wouldn’t let me walk until my levels were more balanced (I was low in electrolytes lol BUT BULLSHIT I Knew I Could Walk!) …I had to use a bed pan >.< ! I was soooo pissed! lol a pun XD
((This Happened At The Other Hospital Too, Which I Only Stayed One Night In-Next To A Guy Who Was Fucking INSANE Schizophrenic Or Some Shit Lol…He Had a Foreign Accent.. Funn Example Lol: Whered That Lady Go? I Want To Fuck Her. Tell Her I Want To See Her And For Her To Come Back. I Want To Fuck..Lol That Went On For A While.. He Said A lot Of Stuff That Sounded Like Random Nonsense And They Kept Telling Him To Stop Spitting Tobacco on The Floor Lol Eventually Gave Him a Shot To Put Him Out.. Which He Asked if They Were Drugs That Would Make Him.. Well Hinted To Tripping Kind of Drugs Lol They Said It Would Make Him Feel Calmer…And At Points It Seemed Like He Did Have Suspicions Towards it But Eventually After Like 6 Mintues of A Whole Team Trying To Persuade Him-Doctors Ad Security Kept Going in There- He Eventually Did Go To Sleep, Soon After Lol….But I Didn’t Haha.. I Tried But I Couldnt… They Woke Me Up To Check My Vitals Every 2 Hours.. And It was So Loud… I Was So Irritaded… Haha))
Back To Being Pissed About The Bathroom Thing: I Was Like... I could Fucking walk- Its only like 13 steps to the fucking bathroom, fuck!! Ahaha.. The pisces rising in me doesn’t like attention being brought to me..i was extremely uncomfortable with this bed pan thing! ahaha... Like a lot of the time I held in my sneezes and other stuff hahaha ..but a bed pan? ….Felt Like It Was a Lesson To Go Through.. But Fuck..i made them turn around or go to the other room (Some Said They Couldn’t Though) and I just handed it other ahahaha … Later i got more comfortable Though :) ahaha "but i still handed it, i didnt want their help" Lolol XD
Well.. when they finally let me eat I picked the healthiest things that they had……. It was very limited to choose from…I had to select based on their food groups (Other Than Meat).. They called me picky lol.. I wasn’t hungry but they forced me to eat certain percentages of what they gave me … like 50% of my plate for breakfast %60 percent lunch.. and on ((I really struggled with this...they went too fucking fast! They even started at 50% ! Thats high! Like WTF these Percentages are WHACK! -Even the internet says to go slow ..to graduallyyyy increase the food dosage after a fast and Mine was long as Fuck! aha The longer the fast the slower the refeed "is a common rule" lol based on my research )) They said I needed to eat 2000 calories everyday and that things like ice burg lettuce have 0… lol (Calories are based on factory food...i DGAF about Calories! aha Its all about the Nutrients, protein, not having poison.. Lol XD)
They gave me an ultimatum that if I didn’t eat the percentage then they would hook me up- Feeding me through a tube up my nose of some brand of infant formula which even they said I wouldn’t want in me.. Lol The percentages of Food That I Had To Eat kept going up.. And I was fucking nauseous and just kept throwing it up….. a Few days later I gave into the anti-nausea medicine because I was worried about fucking up my throat even more ..i had acid reflux so it kept burning. And they Were Limiting The Water That I Was Drinking Because They Thought It Would Just Continue To Diminish My Nutrients Because I Had Super Clean Water Hahahha I Had My Mom Bring A Bunch From Home (11 Step Filter.. Nothing But H2O)
I had to wear these vibrating boot things 'to help with circulation' since i was laying in that bed all day... THOSE THINGS WERE FUCKING ANNOYING! ahaha I loved when they let me "take a breather" ahaha I Would Purposely ‘Forget’ To Remind Them To Put Them Back On XD Hahahah I Had a Felling They Were Actually Bad For Me.. Like Made Me Cramp Fuck Lol They Shouldve Had me Do Stretches XD
When they Finallyyy let me walk!!!! (based on lab work-a couple days after i started eating) First Thing: OMG I COULD FINALLY USE THE REAL BATHROOM! Hahahah XD I Did Not Want To Shit in The Bed Pan BUT OMG I COULD NOT TAKE A SHIT! For The Longest Time ahhaah… (And Keep in Mind About The Ultimatum) I Was Worried That My Stomach Would Explode And They Said Well Its Because You Werent Eating For So Long And It Helps To Walk To Move Things Along..And I Was Like GEE Thanks For Not Letting Me Walk! HAhahah XD
At First I Struggled With Getting Up…To Walk To The Bathroom (Still Hooked Up To The IV Bags) I had to go slow and hold onto things…I Was Off Balance And it felt like all the muscle in my legs were gone lol..Really Weird Haha…I Felt Weak And Brittle…And Wobbling Around i thought this must be what its like for a baby lmaoo XD …
Even when I finally got to go home ((I called this the "Return from the Twilight Zone" on FB ahahaha -I forgot what my home life was like.. Like an Alternate Reality that i was stuck in slang lol)) I Still had Fucking Double Vision if I didn’t close one eye! Didn’t Even Matter Which Eye! Hahah And It Kept Changing!! ((I Knew It Would Eventually Get Better But U Didn’t Know When And People Kept Telling ME To Get Glasses But It Kept Changing and The IV’s Fault!)) At The Hospital They Were Like Why You Making That Face at Me? XD ((Stink Eye From Rocket Power Hahah)) That Double Vision lasted a Whileeeeeee…My Dad got me an eye patch lmaoo And All I Did Was Play Skyrim for A While…I was off balance for Longer Hahah….When I Went Out I Would Have To Hold a Shopping Cart or Link Arms With Someone Cause I Couldn’t Walk Straight… And That Lessened Later With Occasional Stumbles…
But Going Back- A couple days after my release I got Really Fucking Itchy out of nowhere! The Worst Itch of My Whole Life Ever ((And I Had The Chicken Pox in Kinder Garden lol Right After I Got The Fucking Chicken Pox Vaccine)) The Itching Would Not Stop And Was Really Intense And it got me Super Fucking frustrated because I was really tired And this itch wouldnt let me fucking sleep!…The voice told me to stop itching it lol BUT I STILL DID! IT WAS HARD! They Said Rubbing Was Better Lol Which Kinda Helped But I Would Forget… I ended up Staying awake All Night And Fucking Crying And Punching Pillows Saying Let Me Sleep Stoppp Hahahah In The Morning I Told My Mom And Ended Up going to the hospital (more local) to get anti itch medicine that I only took 2 of lol All of a sudden off cold turkey "Medication side effect"? lol thats what the innervoice lead me up to aha...
I know all of this doesn’t sound so good XD ahaha… but I felt like this was the experience that I wasn’t supposed to miss…. The nurses were so nice to me…All of them…. It healed my view of Doctors… They have good intentions… I thought they were corrupt but its the way that theyre educated. I kept getting synchronizers that the Gold will come… I learned so much…. I felt like I needed this background to know how to help people more… What people in the hospital experience.. I got to observe how they do things… their many tests…what they take notes on…what kind of food they offer (fucking junk)… I even rode in an ambulance for the first time, which was cool…the lady was so nice! I met so many amazing people! They kept me entertained by telling me their life stories haha so many insights… both positive and negative.. and ohh the comic reliefers ahahaha XD ...
So yeahh that’s where I got the Rainbow thing ahahah… But Yeahhhh….
---------------------------------
Lol after the hospital i ate junk food so i tried detoxing again just not fasting nearly as long:
Puking
For What My Mom Said For Hours On End Lol, At The Toilet..Laying Down
Sitting Up...(That Dizzy Feeling..I Dont Mind Throwing Up Since Drinking
Lots of Water Coated My Throat From Any Uncomfortable Throat Burning
Sensations....But I Hated Being Nauseous...It Was INtense... and Laying
Down Sometimes Increased It Just Enough To Finally Get It Out...Like A
Trigger Instead OF Waiting lol I Wanted The Toxins Out)
At
That Toilet I Remember Experiencing The 'BlackOut Stage' (I Later Heard
of This From Sean Blackwell, Doing Some Research Review - He Explains
Psychosis Extremely Well..Had One of His Own And People Email Him And He
Does a Shit Ton Of Research On Consciousness As Well Lol Mine Was Very
Similar To Much Of What He Described And (Back Freshman Year When I
Found This I Really Wanted Psychosis Lol Permission Maybe..Its Shaman
like And Transformative Lol And Its Still On Going But My Feet Are More
on The Ground Balanced, Thanks To Their Many Lessons...Which...learning
is Constant And To Be Able To Progress Without Stoppong Is a Good Thing
Lol) Heres His Video Series: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLKafCD_loau1hvN3BCPVG_qMhNjyjVt8U (A Recommended Watch! Lol) He Speaks of The Blackout In Video 6 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1EY6ar0Gvo&feature=share&list=PLKafCD_loau1hvN3BCPVG_qMhNjyjVt8U @ 7:52 Lol
I Caught Myself Passing Out a Couple Times On The Floor And Waking To Throw Up..The Bathroom Light Touched Where I Was And Waking Up To Barf...It Seemed So Much Brighter THan Usual....My Mom Was At A Chair Behind Me Sitting At The Door IN The Dark (My Worry Prolly Made It Darker But I Kept Telling Her I was Ok) (I Asked Her To Help Me Since The Last 2 Times Was Around 2 in The Morning With Everyone Sleeping..I Went Back And Forth With Healthy Food THen Not HAha...And I Had To Stregnthen up To Get MMyyself More Water Because It Made THings easier on My Body...Eventhough Hard To Walk Lol I Shouldve Used The Downstairs Bathroom)
At That Toilet In The Light, I Remember Almost Forgetting Who I Was (I Could Remember When I Put Effot But It Felt better To Let Myself Just Detached)..Feel The Now..I Was Baby Like...I Felt Connected With Everything..And Protected And Warm (The Still, The Source, The Soul Essence, 'God', Its Surrounds..'There Is No Where Where God is Not', Its Inside Us, Were Powerful Lol)..
I
Remember Being Somewhat Desperate..(That Might Paint The Picture But
Thats The Wrong Word Because I Felt Such Great Comfort)....Oh This Is
Better: I Was So Willing To Release My Toxins For THe World (Change
Yourself Change THe World, Earth Needs Energy, Detox & Positivity
Helps Raise Your Vibes ALOT)...The Light..So Bright THat Part Stood
Out...And I Remember Closing My Eyes...Rocking Back And Forth a Bit (Not
Too Much Because tHe Hard Floor Hurt My Knees) And Just Repeating...'I
Love You, I Love You, I Love Everyone, Im In Love With Everyone ' (Many
Psychosis Lessons Relating To This Statement, But Keeping It Brief For
Now)
My Mom Eventually Gave Me an Ultimatum That If I Keep Throwing Up Shes Taking Me tp The Hopital And The Voice Helped Me Know What To Say Because I Really Didnt Want To Go Lol... I Said Just a Couple More (I Felt How Much Throw Up I Had Left In Me Lol) And After The Couple My Dad Ends Up Coming And Picks Me Up Takes me To My Room, And I Tell Them To Give Me a Bucket And When He Layed Me On My New (NON Metal Spring Coil Bed..Research: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6C5rRCzBYQ&feature=relmfu ..It Was The Psychology Couch From My Dads Bedroom Thats Adjustable So That I Get To Sleep With My Legs Up (We Accuire Adrenaline To Walk Upright) Instead of My Head on a Pillow(And Heads On Pillows Stops the Addrenaline Drainage From Occuring And Could Also Results In Neck Problems Which Results in Back Problems Too Lol...Better Rest And Also Unplug And Turn Off Cell Phones!..Is My Suggestion Hehe)
I
End Up Throwing Up In That Bucket Again lol And I Was LIke Ok Thats The
Last One Hahahha And My Dad Gived me A Blessing And This Looked All
Trippy Ass Psychedelic More Vivid "Lighter" Yes Lol ....And I Go To
Sleep...Wake Up..Feeling Much Better XDD! Even Ate A Little Lol And
Listened To my Mom Telling me How Long I Was Throwing up For Lol
It
Was All...SUPER WORTH IT! XD Lol Oh Also...Kundalini..Yeah i Had The
Typical Vibrations, Tingles, Electricity, Hot And Cold Energy Stuffs
Goin On.. Deep Breathin Haahah I Want That As a Habbit Rooted Into My
First nature Lol That Would Be a MAJOR investment Hahahah XD
The End For Now X)
If You Want More on Kundalini That BiPolarWakeUp Guy Recorded His Experience Here Ya Go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jltXe9tBmU4&list=PLKafCD_loau1hvN3BCPVG_qMhNjyjVt8U&index=26&feature=plpp_video
And You Could Also youtube More Or Google Read Up On Stuffs
(This Could Spontaneously Happen To Anyone Lol)
Funny Note To Leave Off on XD
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